Every now and again my loins cry out for attention. I am a passionate woman. Sometimes I do find it quite difficult to reel in my urges. I am now basking in the very essence of me, celebrating my alpha-femininity, sexuality, my sensuality, however, prior to my awakening, I was often guilted into suppressing those vital parts of myself. Can you imagine, being creative and well, feeling ashamed to express oneself, being fearful of not being “modest” enough. Suffocating, to say the least.
So with the furnace burning ferociously beneath (ha!) and this Leo Ascendant fire in my chart, I let go when it came to my sexual impulses but let go irresponsibly. Faking intimacy with men that were emotionally depleted was standard procedure and I somehow normalized being emptied in the process. Spirit really does catch up to the demands of the body, my dysfunction was starting to show. Wasn’t a good look. Best believe there is still some past debris that needs clearing…
Now, the outcome would have been very different had my relationships/interactions been stable emotionally or spiritually gratifying. Sex is so powerful and can even be used to raise your spiritual consciousness if you are whole enough to receive. But with this machismo culture encouraging women to be used as release tools, people are so used to chasing the principles of empty pleasure, missing out on cultivating their character instead.
I have been reading up on the art of sacred sexual practice and abstinence, how to exercise mastery over material forces. Self-love coaches like Lalah Delia (I love her by the way) are advocates for “sex fasts”, which help to get rid of any low vibrational energies that may still be lingering around. I know a few guys that are athletes, who have been warned by their coaches to abstain from sexual activity temporarily before big games because their performance will be affected. This alone made me think…
Am I at my optimum best after I engage in sexual activity with men who don’t serve my highest good? Am I losing my power? The sex is wack anyways, is it even worth it? How do I gain access to my higher self, or attract higher connections? Do I reset my sexual impulses with a fast until I’m clear? Do I assess my love interests thoroughly, wait and wait some more?
All of the above. The sex fast is more so what I am embarking on at this present time. Do not be fooled, this is without guilt or shame, this is about self-love and preservation! I am for promoting healthier perceptions and expressions of sex but in the same breath, controlling those carnal, baseless desires.
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